Pakistan is a country that is known for its rich culture, heritage, and traditions. However, in recent years, a new trend has emerged in the country, which has become an obsession for many people: “Doctor Bahu“.
The ‘Doctor Bahu’ term refers to a daughter-in-law who is a doctor and is highly educated and is considered to be the ideal match for a son in many families.
The obsession with “Doctor Bahu” can be traced back to the traditional cultural values in Pakistani society, where the daughter-in-law is expected to be well-educated, intelligent, and sophisticated.
The idea is that a well-educated daughter-in-law can bring honour and prestige to the family, and help to raise the status of the household in the eyes of society.
This obsession has led to a situation where many families are now actively seeking “Doctor Bahu” for their sons, even if it means going to great lengths to find a suitable match. Some families even go as far as to conduct nationwide searches, or even go abroad, to find the perfect daughter-in-law. This has resulted in a highly competitive environment, where families are willing to spend large amounts of money and resources on securing a “Doctor Bahu” for their sons.
The obsession with “Doctor Bahu” has also led to a situation where many young women are encouraged to pursue careers in medicine simply to become more attractive to potential suitors. This has resulted in a glut of female medical students, who are then struggling to find jobs in an already competitive field.
Despite the negative consequences of this trend, the obsession with “Doctor Bahu” shows no signs of waning. In fact, it seems to be growing stronger by the day, as more and more families seek out well-educated, sophisticated, and intelligent daughters-in-law.
Twitterati’s Befitting Reply to ‘Doctor Bahu’ Seekers
Recently a Twitter user took to the platform to ask the parents of grooms why are they obsessed with ‘Doctor Bahu’, if their child is sick, does he own a clinic, or how will marrying their son to a doctor make the slightest of difference in their life.
User @Fatmounh writes:
Why is it still a concept to go looking for a ‘Doctor’ bahu? Anytime someone says we’re looking for a bahu, preferably a doctor I want to ask them why? Is their son ill? Do they own a clinic? How is the daughter in law’s mbbs going to help her create a better marriage?
She continues to clarify that:
It’s not like doctors have the best work-life balance in all occupations. It’s not like all our lives are Shan Masala ads where our in-laws will raise our kids as we go do house jobs with absurd hours. Kyun hai yeh demand? Waisey tou barri sarti hai k oh working woman se Shadi?
Why is it still a concept to go looking for a ‘Doctor’ bahu? Anytime someone says we’re looking for a bahu, preferably a doctor I want to ask them why? Is their son ill? Do they own a clinic? How is the daughter in law’s mbbs going to help her create a better marriage?
— Husn Hai Suhana (@Fatmounh) February 4, 2023
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Importance of Putting an End to Pakistan’s ‘Doctor Bahu’ Obsession
It is important to end the “Doctor Bahu” trend for several reasons:
- Reinforces gender stereotypes: The “Doctor Bahu” trend reinforces traditional gender stereotypes, which suggest that women should only focus on education and careers that will make them more attractive as potential daughters-in-law. This limits women’s choices and stifles their potential to pursue careers and interests that they are truly passionate about.
- Creates pressure for young women: The pressure to become a “Doctor Bahu” can be incredibly stressful for young women, who are often expected to prioritize their education and career over other aspects of their lives. This can lead to burnout and negatively impact their mental health.
- Reinforces unequal power dynamics: The “Doctor Bahu” trend reinforces unequal power dynamics in relationships, where the wife is seen as secondary to the husband. This can lead to toxic relationships where the wife is expected to conform to traditional gender roles, and where the husband wields disproportionate power and control.
- Damages the medical profession: The focus on “Doctor Bahu” can damage the medical profession by encouraging young women to pursue careers in medicine for the wrong reasons. This can lead to a lack of commitment to the profession and a lack of respect for the skills and knowledge required to be a competent medical practitioner.
- Limits social progress: The “Doctor Bahu” trend represents a step backwards in terms of social progress. It reinforces traditional cultural values that prioritize the prestige and status of the family over the happiness and well-being of the individual. This limits the potential for positive change and progress in society.
If parents have spent millions on educating their daughter to become a doctor, it’s not because they’re afraid she won’t find good proposals, it’s because she wishes to help others and make a difference in the world. As long as the in-laws are accepting and understanding, the marriage will be beautiful, else, it doesn’t take much for things to fall apart.
What are your two cents on the matter? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
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