Culture

Nearly four years after a crime that horrified the nation, the Supreme Court of Pakistan upheld the death sentence of Zahir Jaffer for her brutal murder.

The ruling is significant for three reasons: 

• It affirms that the Pakistani justice system can deliver in the face of overwhelming public outrage
• It sends a message that no privilege or wealth can shield one from the law
• It strengthens hope for victims of gender-based violence seeking justice in a patriarchal society.

Noor, 27, was found tortured and beheaded at Zahir’s Islamabad home in July 2021. The sheer brutality of the crime sparked protests and soul-searching across the country. After years of legal battles, the apex court dismissed Zahir’s appeal, confirming his death sentence under Section 302(b) of the Pakistan Penal Code (PPC) for premeditated murder. The verdict comes after it was upheld by both the trial court and the Islamabad High Court (IHC).

However, the top court modified parts of the previous ruling. Zahir’s death sentence for rape under Section 376, originally converted from 25 years rigorous imprisonment by the IHC, was reduced to life imprisonment. His 10-year sentence for kidnapping was also slashed to one year.

The court also ruled on the appeals of Zahir’s co-accused, the household staff who had allegedly prevented Noor from escaping. Watchman Mohammad Iftikhar and gardener Jan Mohammad, both sentenced to 10 years, had their sentences reduced. The bench decided that their time already served was sufficient, leading to their release.

Throughout the proceedings, disturbing commentary and courtroom dynamics revealed the ongoing struggle women face in seeking justice. During the trial, judges questioned Noor’s decision to be alone with Jaffer. Justice Kakar remarked that such actions were “against our values,” drawing criticism from activists.

Farzana Bari, a prominent women’s rights advocate, noted that these remarks reflect a dangerous mindset: “They imply the man had some right over her, which is a harmful and regressive notion.”

Shafaq Zaidi, Noor’s childhood friend, stood outside the court with tears in her eyes. “This is a victory for all the women of Pakistan. It shows that justice is possible. This was our last resort, and it’s hard to put into words what this outcome means to us.”

Human rights activist Tahira Abdullah echoed the sentiment, calling the verdict “a milestone achievement in the ongoing struggle for justice against entrenched patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny.”

The murder, which occurred on July 20, 2021, in Islamabad’s upscale Sector F-7/4, was described in the FIR filed by Noor’s father, Shaukat Mukadam, as a gruesome crime involving torture and beheading. Zahir was arrested at the scene.

Later, Zahir’s parents, Zakir Jaffer and Asmat Adamji, were indicted but later acquitted. Therapy Works employees, who arrived before the police, were also released despite being accused of attempting to tamper with evidence.

The apex court is yet to issue a short order detailing its decision on Shaukat Mukadam’s appeal against Zakir Jaffer’s acquittal.

During the trial, Zahir’s defense argued that his mental state was not assessed by a medical board. However, the court dismissed this, stating that the evidence of his confession, DNA, and fingerprints were overwhelming.

Zahir’s counsel, Salman Safdar, maintained that the footage presented was not played in court and argued that the evidence must be beyond doubt. The state lawyer, in contrast, called for exemplary punishment: “There should be no forgiveness for this heinous crime.”

Justice Najafi pointedly remarked that had the co-accused not stopped Noor, “the situation would have been different.”

For Noor’s father, who had urged the Supreme Court last year to take up the delayed appeal, the decision marks the end of a long and painful journey. “My daughter was brutally murdered. We fought every day to ensure her voice wasn’t lost.”

As the court announced its verdict, the mood was heavy. It was not a moment of celebration, but of solemn closure. Justice had taken its course, and for Noor Mukadam, the hope is that her story becomes a turning point  not just for Pakistan’s justice system, but for how society views and protects its daughters.

Perhaps now, with this ruling, fewer parents will have to suffer in silence. Perhaps now, justice will not feel like an impossible dream.

• Marriage apps create a distorted view of relationships by prioritizing surface-level attraction over real-world compatibility.

• Common red flags like ghosting, love-bombing, and inconsistent communication contribute to psychological strain and emotional exhaustion.

• The superficial nature of these platforms can lead to low self-esteem, loneliness, and unhealthy relationship choices, especially for women.

In the digital age, marriage apps have revolutionized the way people meet potential life partners. But while these platforms promise convenience and the hope of finding the perfect match, they come with unintended consequences, especially for women. Beneath the surface of these apps lies a complicated web of expectations, disappointment, and psychological strain.

Surface vs Reality: The Idealized Version of Love

Marriage apps often paint a glossy picture of love and compatibility, where users can filter and choose their ideal partner with ease. The profiles presented on these platforms are curated, with users showcasing their best selves—highlighting their achievements, physical attributes, and interests. But this curated version of a person often diverges drastically from reality. The discrepancy between an idealized online profile and the real-life individual can be shocking and disheartening.

For women, this disparity can lead to self-doubt and frustration. The pressure to live up to the digital ideal of perfection often takes a toll on their mental health. Women might feel inadequate or as though they have to constantly strive to meet unrealistic standards, which can result in feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and lowered self-esteem.

What’s Really Happening Behind the Screens?

Despite the convenience of these platforms, what’s really happening behind the screens often doesn’t align with the promises made by the apps. Many users report superficial interactions with minimal meaningful connection. The process of swiping, matching, and chatting can feel more like a game than a serious attempt to form a lasting relationship.

Moreover, women on these platforms often face an overwhelming number of unsolicited messages, many of which are inappropriate or disrespectful. This can lead to a sense of being objectified rather than seen as an equal, causing emotional exhaustion. The lack of real-world context in these virtual interactions means that trust and genuine connection are often hard to build.

Common Red Flags to Look Out For

Marriage apps, unfortunately, can be breeding grounds for unhealthy relationship dynamics. Some common red flags women should be aware of include:

• Love-bombing: Over-the-top flattery and excessive attention early on that may seem flattering but can turn manipulative.

• Ghosting: Sudden disappearance after a few meaningful exchanges or dates, leaving women questioning their worth.

• Inconsistent Communication: A partner who fluctuates between intense interest and distant behavior, which can create emotional turmoil.

These behaviors can be emotionally draining, leading women to question their value and the authenticity of the people they connect with. Over time, these experiences erode self-confidence and contribute to a growing sense of isolation.

What It Leads To: Psychological Strain

The mental health implications of using marriage apps are not to be underestimated. Constant exposure to fleeting, superficial interactions can leave women feeling emotionally exhausted and frustrated. They may also develop a distorted view of relationships, where quick fixes or superficial connections are seen as normal.

Over time, this can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. The cycle of rejection, ghosting, or failed connections can reinforce negative thought patterns, making it difficult for women to trust others or even believe in the possibility of a healthy, long-term relationship.

Moreover, the intense focus on appearance and initial impressions rather than deep emotional compatibility can lead to poor relationship choices. Women may settle for relationships that don’t align with their values or needs, which could have long-term emotional consequences.

Conclusion: The Call for Mindful Use

While marriage apps offer a modern way to meet potential partners, they come with their own set of challenges, particularly for women. It’s essential to use these platforms mindfully and to prioritize emotional well-being over the superficial aspects of digital matchmaking. By being aware of the psychological risks and focusing on genuine, meaningful connections, women can navigate the marriage app landscape with greater awareness and resilience.

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• Societal pressure forces women and men into marriage before they are emotionally or mentally prepared.
• Marriage is wrongly seen as a solution to immaturity or insecurity, leading to frustration and emotional burnout.
• A deep emotional literacy gap between men and women contributes to dysfunctional relationships and long-term unhappiness.

The Pressure Cooker of Cultural Expectations

In Pakistani society, marriage is often seen less as a partnership and more as a deadline. Women are hurried into “settling down” before they’ve had time to discover themselves, while men are expected to “man up” and lead households without any emotional grounding. The result? Two individuals, both under immense societal pressure, forced into a lifelong commitment before they’re truly ready—mentally, emotionally, or financially.

This pressure leads to relationships strained by unmet expectations, communication breakdowns, and emotional detachment. What begins with a grand wedding often spirals into a quiet burnout, especially for women who are taught to endure rather than express.

Marriage is Not a Fixer-Upper

A dangerous myth persists: that marriage will fix a man’s immaturity or protect a woman from the world. But a marriage built on the hope of transformation rather than readiness is like building a house on a fault line.

Many women enter marriage thinking it will provide stability, only to find themselves playing the role of therapist, caretaker, and partner—all at once. On the other side, men who were never taught to understand their emotions or responsibilities are thrown into a role that demands both. This mismatch creates a recipe for frustration, resentment, and emotional disconnect.

The Emotional Literacy Gap

From a young age, Pakistani girls are taught to feel, to empathize, to nurture. Boys, on the other hand, are often told to “toughen up” and suppress emotions. This creates a glaring emotional literacy gap.

When these boys and girls become men and women—and eventually spouses—the imbalance becomes painfully clear. Emotionally literate women find themselves paired with emotionally distant men. Conversations become arguments, silence becomes the norm, and emotional safety becomes a distant dream.

We cannot expect healthy marriages in a society that doesn’t foster emotional readiness in both genders.

Building Readiness Before Rings

The solution isn’t to demonize marriage—but to redefine the timing and preparation behind it. We need a cultural shift that prioritizes emotional education, self-awareness, and mutual readiness over social deadlines.